So-called temporary marriages are an ancient Islamic practice that still exist in several countries around the world, including in the Middle East. Temporary marriages are a legalised form of marriage, between a man and a woman, with a predetermined expiry date that is practiced mostly in Shiite communities. Temporary marriages are a controversial practice and have come under heavy fire by critics who argue that the practice exploits vulnerable women.
Hawa, as we will call her, is a 32-year-old unmarried Lebanese girl working in a private company. She wants to earn a living in a country where high salaries are scarce. She lost her father at the age of 17. She has been approached several times in life by men who want to enter a so-called temporary marriage with her for pleasure.
While still reeling from the shock of having lost her father, a relative of Hawa suggested that she should get into a temporary marriage with him. She refused. Following her father’s death, Hawa got back on her feet and completed her university studies. She found a job opportunity in the city where she had studied, away from her home village. It was the city she had always dreamed of settling in. Hawa started her new job to achieve financial independence. It was certainly not the best paying job, but still acceptable for crisis-hit Lebanon.
At the same time, Hawa was also longing for love. She wanted to find that true love, someone to share everyday life with. She ended up meeting a young man whom she liked. He invited her to have coffee in his studio and they talked for a long time.
Then suddenly came the question. Would Hawa be willing to enter a temporary marriage with him, the young man asked?
Not again, Hawa thought. She became furious and said no. She quickly understood however what the young man was after when he asked for her age. At 32, he considered her old. She told the man off.
“All I dreamed of was having a normal relationship,” Hawa says, while shaking her head.
I ask myself as a writer, have we turned to legalized prostitution with religious edicts and temporary marriage contracts as covers? Does the legislator, the cleric, who approves temporary marriage contracts not understand what this is all about? And what about the young man who kept harassing Hawa to enter a temporary marriage with him? Did he ask himself about the extent of the psychological damage he caused her?
We are still living in a society that sees women as a commodity. Today, Hawa is experiencing bouts of crying and fear. Is she a commodity that has expired?, she asks herself. Who are all these people who suggest she enters a temporary marriage for sex? The most important question is who is responsible for causing all this emotional damage that Hawa suffers from as a result of these offers of temporary marriage?
