In Lebanon, we are still surprised to hear the term “marital rape.” Marital rape is a crime although it remains legal in many Arab countries until today. Women all over the world, not least in the Middle East, are still subjected to many systemic violations. One of the most prominent and most filthy of these violations of rights is marital rape, which is linked to violence, extortion, humiliation and a “man’s right”.
Marital rape is having sex with your spouse without consent. In most cases, the woman is the non-consensual party. Marital rape is not limited to physical violence and indicates that the relationship is a dangerous and toxic one.
Although Lebanon is considered one of the most open and liberal Arab countries, talking about sex here is still considered a societal taboo. Women do not even have the right to complain about their sexual suffering. Many women across the region are subjected to sexual violence and forced to engage in sex with their husbands. But what is most striking is that a large percentage of these women are not even aware that what they have been subject to is actually rape.
Despite the “liberation” that Lebanese women are trying to reach, they are still afraid to talk about their sexuality and sexual practices as it is considered a private matter that cannot be talked about. This is due to our social, cultural and religious heritage. It is also linked to the fact that Lebanese women, until today, don’t have legal protection from the crime of marital rape.
Marital rape in Lebanon is still not criminalized because of social, religious and cultural reasons. Marital rape results in painful psychological and physical damage. A woman subjected to marital rape faces feelings of fear, anger frustration, humiliation and brokenness to name a few. She may even become disgusted with herself, her husband and society.
Both Islam and Christianity consider marriage as sacred. Islam emphasizes the feelings of women and calls for the husband to take these feelings into account. It stresses that marriage should be based on affection, mercy and tranquility. In Christianity, marriage should be based on love, respect and affection. The sexual relationship must be with the consent of both parties because it is an expression of the love that brought them together by mutual consent and not the control of the physically strongest. However, what happens in reality between two spouses can be very different. Therefore, it is key that marital rape and domestic violence are criminalized and women guaranteed their rights under Lebanese law. What is also a problem is the general lack of awareness in society on the issue of marital rape.
The woman’s failure to obtain support from her community, especially from her friends and family, and her subsequent inability to disclose the suffering and pain she is exposed to through marital rape will only increase her frustration, fear and anger.
